Fun With Fire
by Ozonebaby
Summary: Rowensugarlightermayhem
1. In The Beginning...

Fun With Fire  
By: Ozonebaby  
Part One: In the Beginning...  
  
"Tee hee hee!!" Rowen skipped around the mansion, brandishing a Teflon non-stick frying pan. Cries of laughter and insanity radiated from him and echoed throughout (a whole bag of pixie stix would do that to anyone). Suddenly, Rowen's happy little charade was put to a stop when a fuming redhead interrupted grabbed his pan. Confused, Rowen spun around to see the culprit.  
"Damnit, Cye...Give it back!! It's mine!!" Rowen squealed.  
"Why can't you just be normal, Rowen?" Cye quizzed, trying to be nice, but Rowen noticed that he was mad, besides the cracking in his voice; Cye's face was totally red.  
"What's the matter, mullet-man?" Rowen asked with a silly grin. (*Author's note-if you don't know what a mullet is, for shame.)  
"I DON'T HAVE A MULLET!!!!!!" Cye cried." And besides, LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO MY FLOWERS!!!" He pulled out a single withered marigold splattered with blue and red paint.  
"I didn't do that." Rowen said innocently." You pulled it up yourself."  
"THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEAN!!! YOU SPILLED SUGAR ON MY FLOWER BED AND THEN PAINTED THEM!!!"  
"Ohhh.... that. Well, I thought that they could use some color, yellow is so boring."  
"Well, thanks, you freak. YOU KILLED MY WHOLE GARDEN!!!"  
"Get over it mullet-man, there's always next year."  
"How many times do I have to tell you...I DON'T HAVE A MULLET!!!"  
"Mullet-man, mullet-man, you've got a mullet!" Rowen chanted in a singsong voice.  
"That's it, blue boy, you're goin' down!!" Cye, then, lunged at the hyperactive blue-haired boy, and found himself meeting the floor rapidly. Rowen doubled over, laughing hysterically and chattering like a maniac squirrel. Suddenly, something shiny caught Rowen's eye.  
"Oooo...shiny." He creeped up to the fireplace, where the object lain. " A lighter...hee hee." At the sound of this, Cye wearily lifted his head up.  
"What do you have, Rowen?"  
Rowen picked up the lighter. "Nuh-uh-thing" he sang with a grin on his face. Cye arched an eyebrow at him. Rowen, then, spun around and held the lighter out. Cye's eyes flew open wide.  
"What are you gonna do with that?" Cye asked worridly. Rowen looked homicidal. His eyes wandered over to one of Mia's houseplants. Rowen skidded over to it and read the label.  
"Wandering Jew....hee hee...Jew." Then he looked back at Cye.  
"Don't even think about it, Ro."  
Rowen's sugar crazed mind had gotten the best of him. "What would happen if I did this?" He lit the lighter and the plant went up in flames. "Cool..." amazed, Rowen watched it burn, while Cye slowly got up to find some help. He made his way to the door, when all of a sudden, a not-too-happy-looking blond knocked him down.  
"HEY, WATCH WHERE THE HELL YOU'RE GOIN' FISHBOY!!!" Sage exclaimed as he wandered into the room. He rolled his eyes at the downed Cye and noticed an all-too-happy Rowen. "Hey, Ro, what's up?"  
"Hmm...Sage?" Rowen asked with fake sophistication.  
"Yeah?"   
"Is hairspray flammable?" Rowen started to smile more each second.  
"Uhh...yeah, I think so..." Sage sniffed the air. "Jeez, is something burning?" Rowen started chuckling, and Sage couldn't figure out, for the life of him, why, until Rowen pulled out the shiny red lighter. Sage's eyes went to the size of saucers. "Uhh...Rowen, are you feeling okay?" Sage asked as he started to back away, slowly. Then, he started running.  
"No ya don't, Sagie-wagie!" Rowen jumped him. They both went down in a struggling frenzy. Rowen tried to get a handle on the lighter and hold the squirming blond. Finally, Rowen lit and half the side of Sage's head was engulfed by flames.  
"AHHH!!!!" Sage ran straight for the bathroom. He busted through the door, startling a bathing Ryo, and stuck his flaming head under water, causing the whole room to fill with steam. Ryo, trying to back up in the corner, just sat there, dumbfounded.  
"Ahh.... that's better." Sage sighed as he pulled his head out. He automatically walked over to the mirror and wiped off the steam. Noticing that his hair, apart from being a bit damp, was perfect, as always (not even a sledgehammer could mess up that do!). "Ha! I am so gorgeous!!" Sage exclaimed as he primped. Seeing this, Rowen fell over in the doorway, bubbling with laughter. Sage peered over at him with snake eyes. "Ohh...I'm gonna get you back you blue-haired bastard.... just wait. No one messes with Sage Date's hair and gets away with it.... no one."   



	2. Payback Is So *bleep*ing Sweet

Wow, what a spiffy turnout! *beams* I feel so loved...not really...but hey. You all wanted the next chapter so soon, so here ya go, being the humanitarian that I am. Now that this has gone public, I think that I should put one of these doo-hickies on it.  
Disclaimer: Any of the characters from Ronin Warriors don't belong to me in any way, shape, or form...I just like to play around with them in my own sick little way *big evil grin*.  
  
Fun With Fire: Part Two: Revenge Is So *bleep*ing Sweet.  
By:Ozonebaby  
  
"That damned prick...that stupid bastard...I'm gonna so..." Sage seethed as he clenched his fist. He sauntered into the kitchen, and to his surprise (although it shouldn't have been) he eyed Rowen, sitting at the kitchen table, immersed in the sugar bowl. Evil thoughts played in Sage's head as he smiled darkly. The infamous frying pan lay on the counter, just in Sage's line of sight. "Hee hee..." Sage giggled...then caught himself, "Oo...that laugh was just a bit too creepy, Sage." He said to himself. "Lay off the coffee, man...lay off the coffee." Snapping back into reality, Sage grasped the pan and shuffled in Rowen's direction and tapped him on the shoulder. Rowen spun around, multi-colored sugar prints scattered across his face.  
"Hiya, Sagie...how's it goin'?" Rowen managed to garble before he noticed the iron monster Sage had hovering above his head.  
"HEEEYAAAA!!!!!" Sage brought it down on Rowen's little blue head. Rowen wavered for a second before he hit the ground like a ton of bricks. Sage smiled in satisfaction.  
"Hmm...I'm suddenly in a great mood... I think I'll go pick up some chicks!" He grabbed his leather jacket (that made him look like Marlon Brando in The Wild Ones) and wandered out the door.  
***  
  
Three hours later...  
  
"Ohh..." Rowen groaned in pain. "Where am I," he asked himself. He noticed the plastic floor tiles he was more or less making out with. "Oh yeah...the kitchen." Rowen sat up slowly and scratched his ass absently. His head hurt like a bitch. He rubbed his sore head and looked around the room. The only thing he noticed ( that might be of use to him) was Kento, standing at the fridge, grabbing random food items to shove down his throat.  
"Ahh...finally up, I see." Kento chuckled as he took a chug out of the milk container with a guilty look on his face. He knew that if Mia saw what he was doing, she'd dock his dessert for a month, and Kento wouldn't want to lose one of his more pleasurable meals (not that he disliked any other of the 17 meals he had daily).  
"Where's Sage?" was all that Rowen said.  
"Umm..." Kento tried to think. Then, the light bulb switched on in his head. "Oh, he went to find a few dates."  
"Where's everyone else?"  
"Well, Mia's gone shopping, Cye went to the park with Yuli, Ryo's in the living room watchin' Red Dwarf..." Rowen's face suddenly set in stone.  
"What did you say?" Rowen asked in an angry monotone.  
"I said that they are watching Red Dwarf in the living room."  
Rowen ground his teeth in fury. "My Red Dwarf? MY RED DWARF?!!!"  
Kento looked sheepish. "Uhh... yeah."  
Rowen had saved every bit of allowance that he got from Mia for scrubbing the toilet and other household jobbies. And with it, he, gradually, bought the whole series of Red Dwarf, which, needless to say, cost a lot. He got up at 11 a.m to get to the store on time...he only got 13 hours of sleep!!! But it was well worth it. He got the last set. He never let anyone touch them, not even Sage. Now, Ryo, was going to get it. Rowen shook the fuzziness out of his head and dug in his pocket. He pulled out his trusty red lighter.  
"It's show time."  
  
Next Part: Fire Boy Gets It  
  
So, if you have any questions, comments, suggestions or what-not, send them to:  
rowen_chan@smeg.i-p.com  



	3. Fire Boy Gets It

Hey all, finally back into the writing gig...*cracks knuckles* let's do this diddy. Okay, where were we? Ah yes, Ryo's gonna get it...ok.  
Disclaimer: blah, blah, blah, the Ronins don't belong to me...I know, whatever.  
Enjoy!:)  
  
Fun With Fire: Part 3- Fire Boy Gets It  
By: Ozonebaby  
  
The T.V drones on...  
***  
"Up, up, up, that's where I'm headed."  
"Not until you pass the engineer's exam and you're not going to do that 'cause you just going to go in there and flunk again."  
"Lister, last time I only flunked by the narrowest of narrow margins."  
"You wha! You walked in there, wrote 'I am a fish' four hundred times, did a funny little dance and fainted!"  
"That's a total lie!:  
"No it's not, Petersen told me"  
***  
Ryo arched an eyebrow and wondered "What the hell makes this so damn funny to Rowen?". He shook his head and continued to watch, for the lack of something better to do.  
Rowen watched, almost spy-like, from the doorway, contemplating evil little thoughts including those that had to do with Ryo, blunt objects, and rabid gerbils. But that would make too much of a mess, and Mia gets really pissed off when the house gets dirty. "Hmm..." he thought. "Ahh...power switch box thingie."  
***  
Meanwhile, in the Dynasty...  
"I am special, I am special. Special me! Special me!" Sekhmet, sitting "Indian style" on the new Persian rug, was singing merrily, unaware of the vein bulging in Anubis' forehead. Anubis was trying ever-so-hard to organize his bottle cap collection, but Sekhmet's tone-deaf singing made him lose it.  
"WILL YOU SHUT UP!!!" Anubis screamed. Sekhmet didn't flinch, just kept on singing. Anubis took a deep breath and got ready to have another go at yelling, but was stopped by Kayura, wearing a frilly pink apron and carrying a basket full of dirty laundry.  
"He can't hear you, ya know." She told him.  
"Huh?" Anubis was lost. Kayura shifted the basket under her left arm and pointed at the case beside Sekhmet; a CD case reading "I'm Proud To Be Me" with a little picture of a bunny and a rainbow. "Ahh..." he wasn't lost anymore (thank the heavens!). "Therapy." Kayura nodded. "Then what the hell am I supposed to do?"  
"Well," Kayura started thinking out loud. "Cale is in the kitchen cooking, and Dais is cleaning the spider webs in his room...Oh!! I got it!!" She handed him a feather duster. "Follow me and start dusting."  
"Aww...man." Reluctantly, he followed her into the hallway.   
"We'll start in Sekh's room." As they got closer and closer to his room, the stench built up until it was so bad that they had to pull their shirts up to their noses. "Uhh...what is that awful stench?" Kayura spit out as she turned the knob to Sekhmet's room. They stood in the doorway and immediately saw the culprit. On his bed lay a one-eyed stuffed snake with stuffing popping out of the seam, Sekhmet's best friend, Mr.Wiggles. Stink fumes rose from it and Kayura almost hurled. "Anubis, you take care of it! You're the man!!"  
"Ugh!" Anubis sauntered over to the thing and picked it up, disgustedly. He dug deep in his pocket with his other hand and pulled out a bright yellow Zippo. He popped open the top and lit it, setting poor Mr.Wiggles on fire, quickly burning him to a crisp. "Ah, that job's..." Anubis started, but was distracted by soft whimpering coming from the doorway. Anubis and Kayura spun around to see Sekhmet, eyes welled up and lower lip quivering.  
"I HATE YOU GUYS!!!" He cried, then ran off down the hallway.   
They just sat there, blinking. Dais, then, popped his head in the door, looking very pissed off.  
"What the hell did you two do to Sekhmet? He's locked himself in the bathroom again!" Dais snarled.  
"Uhh..." Anubis quickly hid the lighter. "Nothing."  
"Well, you better get him outta there! My roots are beginning to show and I need to bleach!"  
Just then, the PA system kicked on and a nasaly female voice came over. "Will Anubis, Cale, Sekhmet, Dais, and Kayura please report to the throne room immediately.  
"Oh great, what does the 'Big Guy' want now?" Kayura sighed.  
***  
Back on earth...  
  
The lights suddenly go out at the mansion.  
"Aww..." Ryo whined. His eyes widened as he heard light footsteps creeping up from behind. "Who's there?" he asked threateningly.  
"Hee hee hee..."  
"Wha?" Ryo spit out. A lighter clicked on and lighted a menacing Rowen's features. "Oh...whadd'ya want, Ro?"  
"Tee hee hee..." Rowen bent down and lit a fuse on the ground. Ryo listened worriedly to the eerie hiss.  
  
Next Chapter: Oh No!!  
What's gonna happen to Ryo...O.O...and what's up with the Warlords? Any suggestions, questions and what-not, you know what to do!  
  
  



	4. Oh No!!

Wow, a long time since I added to this, ne?Well, here it is, enjoy !^_^  
Fun With Fire: Part 4-Oh No!!  
By:Ozonebaby  
  
  
"Awwww hell, Talpa...we didn't MEAN to do it!" Dais whined. Then, Talpa's booming  
voice took them all over.  
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN!!!!!THERE'S NO WAY YOU COULD'VE  
ACCIDENTALLY SENT A LETTER TO MY MOTHER TELLING HER TO VISIT!!!" Talpa  
took a breath. "Now she's coming... I haven't repainted the guest quarters, I haven't given the  
three headed dog a bath, I didn't have that ring cleaned out of the tub, I haven't got those Ronin  
armors, AND I haven't washed the Batmobile...WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO NOW??!!"  
"Errr...batmobile?" Anubis questioned, putting his hand up. Talpa glared at him.  
"DON'T EVER TALK BACK TO ME, RED!!! Now, Sekhmet...go clean up your snake  
droppings. I told you, if you were to have a pet..." Talpa paused and looked around the room for  
the familiar green head. "WHERE"S SEKHMET???"  
"That's another thing..."Kayura commented, already wincing at what she expected was to  
follow.  
"Damnit, what could POSSIBLY be worse??"Talpa sighed.  
"Nubie cooked Sekh's plushie." Dais replied with a grin. How could he POSSIBLY turn  
up a moment to get Anubis in trouble? Anubis got ready to give him a raspberry, but was silenced  
once again by the Big Man.  
"MR.WIGGLES????" Talpa gasped.  
"err...yes." Anubis said sheepishly.  
"I GOT THAT FOR HIM FOR CHRISTMAS IN '57!!!YOU KNOW HOW MUCH  
THAT THING WOULD BE WORTH???" Talpa wailed, and then rambled on.  
"You got HIM a plushie and all you gave me was a gift certificate for the Gap?" gasped  
Kayura, exasperated. "Geez, I have better taste than to shop THERE. Why if I was shopping for  
me...!"She also rambled. Anubis shook his head at all the meaningless babble and turned to Dais.  
"Hey Dais."  
"Yeahhh..." He didn't look at Anubis, he was too busy staring at Kayura's *ahem* assets.   
Anubis scowled at him, but continued anyway.  
"When did you send that letter to his Ma?"  
"Hmm..about a month ago...I think."  
"Are you sure?"  
Dais thought for a moment. "Yeah...positive. Because that was the day that we were pissed at  
Talpa for taping over "X-Files" with his stupid "Dawson's Creek" marathon."  
"Ah yeah...that's right...jeez....what a jerk."Anubis scowled. All of a sudden, they all were  
silenced with the all-too-familiar-get-your-kids-and-run-to-the-nearest-bomb-shelter voice.  
"HELLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!TALPIE-BUNS!!MUM-MUM IS HERE!!!"  
the shrill voice echoed through the corridors. Everyone froze, and a noticeable sweatdrop  
appeared on Talpa's face-mask.  
"Oh, god have mercy..."  
  
***  
Meanwhile, back on Earth...  
  
The day had dawned bright over Mia's mansion. Rowen sat up on his bedsheets,  
voluntarily, and stared at the clock.  
"Hmm...noon...well, the early bird gets the worm!" He smiled to himself and jumped out  
of bed, sliding into his slippers and waltzing out of the room. He was stopped by Mia, looking a  
bit worried. "What's up Mia?" He yawned while scratching his tangled mass of blue hair.  
"Have you seen Ryo?"She asked, scanning the room. Rowen's face grew into a wide grin,  
but he kept himself from laughing out loud.  
"No, Mia...Haven't seen him." he chuckled. "I'm sure he'll turn up sooner or later." He  
said with little spurts and snorts of laughter escaping. Mia looked at him quizzically.  
"What's so funny? This is a serious matter!"  
"Oh, nothing... I was..erm...thinking of the dream I had...yeah...that's it." Rowen  
managed. Mia frowned at him.  
"Alright...well, if you find him, let me know."  
"Sure thing." Rowen grinned again. Mia left to go search Ryo's room for any clues, while  
Rowen slid down the stairs and into his runnig shoes. He wasn't even gonna bother getting  
dressed, boxers and a T-shirt were appropriate enough for a jog. He slipped out the door and  
started runnig down the worn driveway. About halfway down, he stopped at an enormous tree.   
With a lucifer-esque grin playing on his lips, he looked up on the top branch of the tree. There,  
hanging in an oversized potato bag was something...a person maybe...yes..this was a person..and  
Rowen was proud of his work...he grinned as he noticed that not all of the jet black hair had fallen  
out, like he would have expected a singing like THAT would've done. The bag wriggled, and  
made some kind of struggling noises. Rowen gave a little snort of laughter (and a little pride in  
that too) and continued on his merry way. 


	5. Roomates

Continuing on. I know I haven't updated, but here ya go. ^_^ Beware of...hmm...how to say it...references? I dunno...but we can say that I warned you ^_~

Fun With Fire: Part Five-Roomates

By: Ozonebaby

"My, my, my...what a bunch of rapscallions!"

A short, cute little old lady who looked like she just jumped out of the Golden Girls scuttled into the throne room, dropping her bag of colorful yarn in the corridor. She eyed the room through her coke bottle glasses. "Looks like I came just in time!" She shifted her gaze to Talpa...sitting rather stupified in an oversized throne. "My little tenderbittle!!" She ran up and threw her arms around him, causing an audible choke sound to emit from his faceplate.

'Tenderbittle?" Anubis asked, stifling a chuckle. Talpa shot him a poisonous gaze.

"Uh...hi...momma." Talpa mumbled as his mother hugged him even harder. She brought herself up and examined her son.

"Is that how you greet your mother after this long? hmm??"

Talpa slumped and grated "It's so nice to see you, momma..."

"Hmm?? And?"

Talpa sighed. "Ugh..." he mumbled.."I love you..."

"And I love you too, Talpie-poo" She answered satisfied. Kayura and the Warlords were turning red and spurted bits of laughter that couldn't be contained.

"Not taking care of yourself, I see. When was the last time you've had a bath?" Momma scolded.

Talpa got defensive. "I took a shower this morning!!!What do you want from me???"

"Don't talk to me like that, young man! I am your mother! I went through 27 hours of labor to pop your little toosh out, and I can put you back!" Talpa winced as Kayura and the Warlords couldn't hold it in any longer, and they laughed their happy little asses off..

"Yeah, Talpie" Dais cooed..."treat yo momma wif respect!"

"Hehe! And taking a shower with your armor on doesn't count, stinky-bittle!" Cale added with a giggle. At that, Momma jumped off of her son, barged up to Cale and shook a little wrinkled finger in his face.

"Don't you talk to my son like that, or I'll give you the spanking of your life!" Cale blinked at her as Kayura spurted out,

"He might like that..." Momma shuffled over to her and examined her head to toe.

"You have a mouth on you. And you're showing a little too much skin. We don't want people thinking that you are a prostitute, do we? Go put on something a little nicer..." Kayura folded her arms and looked at her as if she was joking, but when Momma saw this, her face contorted and she showed the side that spawned Talpa. "NOW!! YOU LITTLE TROLLOP!" and Kayura dashed away in an instant. Seeing this, Anubis, Dais, and Cale stood military-esque. Momma turned her attention to them and asked sweetly "Will you three go put on something more presentable? Maybe a turtleneck and a sweater?" Without hesitation, they scattered to their respective quarters. Talpa sat like a statue, thinking that if he didn't move, she wouldn't see him and she would go away...no such luck. "Now, Talpie, what are we going to do with you?"

"God have mercy..."

****

Back on Earth...

"Two cups of milk, and a tablespoon of vanilla...eh, we can make that a tablespoon and a half..." Cye talked to himself as he happily measured ingredients. He was making a big dinner tonight to celebrate Yuli going on a long camping field trip with his class. 

"DING DONG" the doorbell rang throughout the house. And again...

"Is anyone gonna get that??" Cye yelled from the kitchen. No answer. "Fine...I have to do every bloody thing myself, I mean, when am I gonna get some help around here? Bleeding Christ..." He muttered as he opened the door. His jaw dropped at the sight.

"Is it alright if I stay here for a while, Torrent? Everyone is being mean to me back home..."Sekhmet, with a hobo bedsheet bag slung over his shoulder, asked sheepishly.

"Uhhh....uhh..."

***

Later on in the kitchen...

"You let SEKHMET...a DARK WARLORD OF THE DYNASTY into MY house????" Mia screamed, bitch-mode on ultra high. Cye winced.

"Well, yes, but he was genuine and he really needs some help." He answered.

"He needs help alright..." Sage added.

***

In the living room...

Sekhmet sat on the couch, untied his bag and started unpacking some items.

"So, uhh...what did you bring?" Rowen asked, keeping his distance, while Kento grabbed a bag of potato chips and nonchalantly plopped down beside Sekhmet.

"Well, just a few things...my Care Bears blankie, my pillow, my purple eyeshadow, and this weird box that I took from Anubis because he *sniff* killed Mr.Wiggles." He started to cry and he dropped the 'weird box' on the coffee table. It was a small, wooden box with a tiny lock on it.

"What's in it?" Rowen quizzed.

"I dunno..." Sekhmet sniffled. "I just always see Anubis go into his quarters with is and he comes out really happy. *sniff* Maybe without it, he'll be sad like me without Mr.Wiggles." He sobbed and suddenly got up and ran into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. Rowen blinked as he heard the distinct click of the door locking. Then his attention went back to the box on the table.

"Special box, eh? A wooden one too...hee hee..." Kento looked up at him, mouth full of chips.

"Yah gunnah seh eh oh fiah?"

"What?" Rowen raised an eyebrow at him

Kento gulped it down and exhaled. "I asked if yer gonna set it on fire."

"Oh, yeah...of course...You gotta lighter, buddy?" Kento glared at him.

"No way, dude. I'm not gonna be your acces..accessomary to crime. I'm stayin' outta this." Rowen looked at him with puppy eyes.

"Pleaaaaaaase Kentooo???" Rowen pleaded.

"Do it yourself, you've got plenty of lighters?"

"Mia took them all away." he whimpered. Kento sighed and compromised.

"Well...if we do this, we do it OUTSIDE. And if we're caught, I'm giving you all the credit."

"OKAY!!" Rowen jumped up, grabbed the box and plowed through the front door. Kento grabbed his bag of chips and slowly followed.

"Damn pyro..."

***

Back in the kitchen...

"Mia, settle down...maybe this is all for the greater good." Sage comforted her.

"Yeah, maybe he'll be on our side now." Cye nervously added. Mia sighed.

"You better be right...but he can stay for only for a couple nights."

"Great...I'm sure that's plenty of time. Let's go tell him the good news!" Cye lead the way into the living room and they all stopped in the doorway and looked at the empty room. "They were all just in here!"

Mia glared at him. "I swear, if Sekhmet..." Then a small whimper came from the bathroom, and they all looked in that direction. "What the..." Sage took a step towards the bathroom...then another....and tried to open the door..."Locked". He informed them.

"Then knock, moron!" Mia spat.

"Cool it, bitch." Sage retorted as he tapped on the door. A rustling sound came from inside, then a shriek that made them all back up.

"GO AWAY!!! *sob sob* OH MR.WIGGLES!!!!*sob sniff sob*" Everyone rolled their eyes.

"I told you that he needed help." Sage stated, shifting the hair out of his eyes (which automatically fell right back into place).

"Yeah, yeah...well then...if Sekhmet is in there, where are Rowen and Kento?" Mia asked suspiciously.

"Uh oh..."

***

In the front yard...

"Ha! I am GREAT!" Rowen wiped the dirt from his pale hands and admired his work. Kento stood beside him and looked dumbfounded.

"What is it?"

Rowen's huffed "It's exactly what it looks like, retard."

"A bunch of sticks?" Kento shoved a handful of chips in his mouth.

"Basically...but I like to think of it as a funeral pyre..."

"For the box?"

"YES!"

"You really are disturbed."

"Yes." Rowen foamed. "Now lower the body onto the pyre, so that he...or is it a she...oh well, so it may find it's way to heaven...yay..." he glared at Kento.

"What?"

"Lower the fuckin' body!!" Kento emptied the chip bag into his mouth before dropping the it on the ground. Then he licked the residue off of his fingers, grabbed the box and dropped it on the 'pyre'.

"Thanks..." Rowen said sarcastically. "Anyways....ashes to ashes, dust to dust...now we set you ablaze upon the earth's crust." Rowen grinned like a demented gas station attendant as he lit the lighter and set a twig on fire. "Now let us watch....hehehe..BURN MOTHERFUCKER BURN!!!" They both sat on the ground and watched it, Kento scooted a few feet away from Rowen, fearing for his life, as anyone who saw the rabid blue-topped psycho would. As the flames grew, so did Rowen's grin. It engulfed the box quickly, and once it reached its contents, a thick, sharp smelling smoke bellowed from it and covered the boys.

"What was in that thing??" Kento coughed, sending bits of undigested chip flying into the air. 

"I dunno...but.." Rowen hacked..."a.hehehhehehe...."

"What?? What are you laugh...heh..hehe."Kento started giggling along with him.

Minutes later...

Kento and Rowen lay on the grass, continuing to breathe in the mysterious smoke.

"Dude...dude..you know what's a funny word?" Kento asked staring into space.

"Uhh..."Rowen tried to think. "what?"

"Fork" Kento cracked up.

"Hehhehe...fork...fouuuurk..forr--KAH..hhehehe" Rowen rambled. Kento continued staring into space.

"It's like, we don't really know where we are. Like REALLY. The universe is sooooo big and can like, hold a lot of stuff, so how do we know that we're not like..like..uh.."

"Fork fork..frok hehe...FROCK forkie foruk..."

"And I said to the guy 'DUDE!! I didn't want this shit on my burger asshole!!' and I so kicked his ass...dude...it was great...man, I'm hungry..." Kento's tummy growled

"Fork...hehe...Oh yeah, I am too hehe...fork..."

"But I dun wanna get up..."

"Yeah..wait dude...we can like...sit here..and maybe like..hehe..food will come to US..."

"DUDE!! Yeah..that probably will happen 'cause we're Ronin Warriors...hehe..mmm beefaronin...*drool*"

"Fork..."

"Hehehe...yeah...paper towel....hehe..."

To be continued...

****

I warned you guys!! ^_~ 

  
  



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